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I have thinned
A young Irish girl goes into her priest on Saturday morning for confession.
"Father, forgive me for I have Thinned."
"Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."
"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."
"Will that wash away me Thin?"
"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."